tonight i had an ice cream crepe and it was tasty!

it's been a long time since i last posted. i will make the update concise:
1) i moved out of my parents house and took the dog! i moved in with my best friend and it's going well and is exciting
2) i transferred with my work instead of getting a new job and it's been generally miserable so i'm applying for something new.
3) i have not b/p'd since moving
4) tx sugar daddy texted me saying he's sorry for letting me down and he's been thinking about my a lot lately. gross.
5) kaden bought me an engagement ring, tried to get me to go to hawaii to meet his family/propose. he is now visiting from japan to try to get me back and it's awk
6) jzzlzzl is hot

feeling full does not make you fat
eating food does not make you fat
not caring about yourself can make you fat

i'm getting my last payout from texan sugar daddy.
i'm tired.
i'm going to watch the new documentary on tupac.

gute nacht

it's 7.15a. i have been up for about 1.5 hours. i feel a bit slow right now because i ate some leftover nachos for breakfast. delicious though.

here they have these amazing slices of cheese that are gouda in the middle, sandwiched between cheddar. brilliant!

do you ever feel like there's nothing left to tell people? i think questions like "how are you?" or "what's up/happening" or "what have you been up to?" are the bane of my existence. that's part of why i hate people and hate pointless human interaction.

just because i don't have answers to those questions doesn't mean i don't have a life.

i'm re-prioritizing my life. it feels good. it's a big relief actually.

• you fill up a jar with golf balls until it's full.
• but then you pour pebbles in all around the golf balls until it's full.
• then you pour sand in which fills in spaces around the pebbles until it's full.
• and supposedly you can still pour in a cup of coffee before it's full.

... something about how the really important things in your life are the golf balls. if you only had them your life it would be okay, your life would still be full. and the pebbles are other important things but not necessities. the sand is things that are nice but not needed. and i guess the coffee follows. if you fill up your life jar from little to small, you won't have enough room to fit in the important things so throw in the big golf balls first.

Moving Along ...
it's back to the ol' porn mill for me. Texan Sugar Daddy essentially cut me off and after checking on my credit card debt, i've decided i must go back to work prostituting my body online. i'm not thrilled about it but it will give me something to pass the time. i need money terribly if i'm ever going to get an apartment.

I am 21. I live with my parents in a town with a population of 22,975. I have a six month old dog, a cherished collection of shoes and a nasty shopping habit. I also enjoy cooking, baking, eating too much, taking sleeping pills, and reading. I have held a variety of occupations including:

student: high school diploma with honors. associates degree. two failed attempts at a bachelors degree at two separate private religiously affiliated universities.

sales associate: from $5 jeans to $5000 commissioned sales. i am experienced in greeting customers, determining their needs, suggesting multiple accessorized outfits, adding on even more, closing the sale and following up with a hand-written thank you. also once fucked the pitcher for the texas rangers after i sold him some shoes.

artist: my dodgy education has taught me to be proficient in multiple mediums and techniques to create visual interpretations of expression [read: has taught me to bullshit answers about what i've been taught].

nanny: i have experience as a live-in nanny caring for two young children ages two and five. my cpr certification is expired, but i'm skilled at getting them to eat the weird chicken chunks in campbell's soup.

webcam model: my most recent employer, UNNAMED STUDIO, has trained me in the art of internet seduction. i have made up to $75/hr selling my body via a Logitech QuickCam10 and an unreliable internet connection. the connections i have made with clientele during my employment with UNNAMED STUDIO have resulted in an approximate $2,000 profit in the last two months. this in exchange for pretending i am mildly interested in a 38 year old texan freight broker who's in a crappy band. he also probably has cancer. and i am probably going to hell.